The Five Apology Languages

If you haven’t already, first check out our post: The Importance of Genuine Apologies

Now that you have the basics of what makes an apology, time to dive in a little deeper. Did you know that we each have a preferred apology style? Dr. Gary Chapman (founder of the 5 love languages) has categorized apology languages into five different styles: Expressing Regret, Accepting Responsibility, Genuinely Repent, Making Restitution, Requesting Forgiveness

Expressing Regret:  Focused on the emotional hurt you are experiencing. Expressing remorse for causing you pain, and making sure a “I’m Sorry” is included.

Accepting Responsibility: Focused on accepting responsibility for their actions. No excuses are made, no blame is given. “I messed up” or “I was wrong” would be included in this style.

Genuinely Repent: Focused on how the person will change their behavior in the future to try to prevent this mistake from being made again. “My plan moving forward to make sure this doesn’t happen again” is included.

Make Restitution: Focus is on reassurance that you are still cared about and important to the other person. “How can I make it up to you?” is included.

Request Forgiveness: Focus is on forgiveness. “Do you forgive me?” would be essential in this style.

Want to take the quiz to see what apology language is strongest for you? Check it out here:


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